Member Submission – A Reflection of Hope, Meaning and Purpose
I was reading reviews of a new book by Nick Cave entitled Faith, Hope and Carnage. The reviews included quotes from the book that made me stop to think. “Hope is optimism with a broken heart” and “This is how I chose to live my life – in uncertainty.”
I recalled something I wrote to myself a few months after returning home from prison. I had been in group, couples and personal therapy but needed my own take on an orientation to drive some of the work I was doing.
HOPE
I hope my life resumes to an intimate and growing relationship with my wife.
I hope my situation does not derail my sons and their lives continue on the same positive trajectory.
I hope I am able to become a productive contributor to our families’ ability to not worry about comfort, basics, investments in our future and our ability to retire by choice.
MEANING
My meaning is to be a loving, positive and enrichening contributor to the lives of my wife and children.
My meaning is to love my wife and be a partner she wants to grow and age with.
My meaning is to guide my young adult sons to full adulthood and complete their journey to independence and personal achievement.
PURPOSE
My purpose is to be the best husband I can be.
My purpose is to be the best father I can be.
My purpose is to lead, build, develop and guide others to achieve fulfillment of their own objectives and desires.
My purpose is to be in a position my talents are used to benefit the individuals, business and community in which I live and participate.
This writing is more reflective of the inflection that happens when re-orienting from a return home from prison. Today, I have more of an ethos like the message you hear when sitting in a seat on an airplane, “Remember to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before attempting to help others.” I know I need to be emotionally, physically, cognitively and spiritually sound to be the person that can have the hope, meaning and purpose I envisage.
The Nick Cave quotes were a ponderous link to this writing. Regardless of how each of us arrived at this place, we are all associated by living with too much uncertainty. The counter measure to that reality is hope. And, collectively, there is action.
At last a very uplifting, an encouraging post. So much of what is posted is of such a negative bent.
Great words to live by, Thank you
SAILTIME
Thank you for the uplifting post and meaningful personal journey you have taken in and out of the penal system. Our day will come, we just don’t know when.
I get discouraged when I read the promise land Journey took 40 years. I am at 33 years later for my crimes. But then I remember HIS grace is sufficient for me. The ultimate judge above is way more important than any Earthly judge. A judge cannot do anything to us that the Lord cannot undo and make us whole.
Wonderful words of life say them over and ove again to me.
We need more up lifting words of hope.
Like you 30 years, I would have
Despaired with out hope.
He, sees, he hears.
Thanks
This is for CherokeeJack & Sailtime along with any other long timers here. I’m curious to note the severity of your crime and if you ever re-offended, if you’re willing to share please? I’m fairly new with all this and for the life of me I cannot understand how murderers, rapists, burglars, domestic abusers and so on can serve their punishment without any labels placed on them and move in with their lives like nothing happened, yet someone who didn’t even actually do anything to anyone except say a few words can get a life sentence as a sex offender and be labeled and beat down constantly FOREVER! I’m wondering how you find work and housing, it seems almost impossible! Trying to keep my hope with a completely broken heart and spirit!
Good day,
I am contemplating an answer to your post.
I must confess I have some concerns about your post.
Are you an RSO ? Are you a member of FAC?
Not all who post are, but some are trolling.
So I am considering how to answer you.
I will trust FAC as to the moderarion of my post.
Best to you.
I can understand your reservations, but I’m in the same boat as other’s here. Just trying to find some hope in my situation. If you read my response to CherokeeJack, you’ll see some of my story. It’s been a tough road and it’s only been a little over a year. I’ve lost EVERYTHING in my life and find it hard to keep trying even, when I get knocked down at every turn. This is not justice or fair in any way, I’m still a human being and should have certain civil rights. Everyone makes mistakes, just some get caught, mine was literally a couple inappropriate comments and deleted, no pictures, no meet up, nothing like that and my life is RUINED! Thank you for any information you care to share, again, I’m just trying to find hope but it seems that anyone that has commented as a long timer has a similar sad situation. Prayers to you!
I answered an ad on Craigslist that was a sting. I trashed my career in academics. I have held several labor intensive jobs. Finding work was tough. I went from being a college professor to making minimum wage at an a hospital linen cleaning company. I could barely keep up with the physical labor. I was separated from family because of probation officer “policy “. I am unemployed now living out of state. Through it all, I have endured. I successfully terminated probation 5 years early. I haven’t reoffended, because that’s not who I am. I’m not who law enforcement believes me to be. I live in poverty and have health problems. None of this is easy. Endure is the best thing that I can say.
Thank you Bwj for your reply, your situation is similar to mine. I was approached on an adult chat site with a sting operation and no pictures exchanged or dates were even set up, but still found guilty. It ruins your life and as I mentioned this is fairly a new situation and have found myself in the same turmoil as you mentioned, hard to find a job, family/friends have alienated and probation seems to pound the Sh*t out of you for doing NOTHING! When housing has been found, the SO comes by door to door to let everyone know and then I get kicked out since I don’t own. Trying to find hope, but it’s hard when no grace is granted whatsoever, even for those that are entrapped in a situation and didn’t actually break the law but it got twisted to look that way. Good luck and I hope you continue to endure. Prayers to you!
@Jaderbake
I have never seem your screen name in here before and you say you were new. How did you know I was a long timer? Just curious.
I have been offense free now for 33 years and never before my offense for 27 years. Over the years I have watched the registry go from being a notification site to being Hell on Earth with more and more laws that they get away with. So many people said they cannot even buy a car because the motor vehicles department flags you as a sexual offender. What the Hell does buying a car have to do with the registry?
I think you accidently added rapist to your group who do not have to register. Rapist for sure do. Rapists are considered sex offenders and required to register.
Your post stated that you had been in this situation for over 30 years, I read different articles but rarely comment. I’ve about hit rock bottom and don’t see an upside to this and it’s only been a little over a year. The main post made me think about my faith and how I’m trying to lean on it for strength and hope, but I find it very hard when I have nothing and nobody in my life bc of this. I realize it was my stupidity for talking some BS via text, but never in a million years would I have thought that saying a couple inappropriate comments would get me in this position. Yes, I was mistaken with my list, so sorry. The weight is SOOO heavy, I just wonder how ppl actually survive with this burden being a cloud over them FOREVER. I’m in my early 40s and it’s almost unbearable already. My PO violates me for anything she can, stopped at the ATM on my way home from work to get rent money and she violated me bc it wasn’t on my schedule, yet she told me if I needed gas or something along the route home that was fine. Violated for facetime with my kids since they won’t let me see them and sending money to their mom via CashApp. It was a sting, there isn’t even a victim in my case, it was some man trying to lure me into doing something that I wouldn’t do! Just looking for something to cling to at this point but I’ve lost everything!
Jaderbake you sound like Jobs turkey. Even the story of Job is a lesson in itself. His three friends didn’t help him much. Hey I’m still on the registry and still holding my peace. Whether I get off or not is debatable or do we all have a thorn in the flesh. Course I am just grateful I didn’t have to go to prison like some on here than again we could be all prisoners of our own understanding.
Hardships come in many ways but when others take another down than one has to stand up with true principals and true justice in much of this corrupt registry ordeal.
Please do not share personal details here. FAC provides other opportunities to exchange stories and personal info. We absolutely care about each person, but this is a public news site. Join us on the second Thursday every month at 8pm ET to learn more at 319-527-3487.
This should be sent to where it can be read by the people who would hopefully give it some thought and hopefully maybe apply impathy to at least the author. We should all write the about the way we wished it could be or could have been if not trampeled by new laws and made us feel so bad about ourselves. And now that it’s been so long we all wish more now than before to have our lives back home with family and as the good things that go with being happy more now than before because we don’t have the underlying problems that made us act out so foolishly. It would be like being born again in the name of Jesus Christ, but also finnaly some changes that were made to turn all the sadness and misery to us folks who have lived a difficult life for sooo sooo long !!! Amen
A wonderful share. Thank you.
@Jaderbake
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1
I may never get off the registry but if I don’t, I won’t blame God as it was my mess up not His. Having said that, he knows my heart and knows I am ready to prove myself.
He gave me many miracles. I got off probation early even though the prosecutor and my P.O said no, the judge said I had done enough time. I was able to get several good jobs in the past, and many other good things.
But I recently had a fake deputy call me and tell me I was not in compliance, and I needed to meet with him and give a DNA sample. I hung up on him but then he called the home phone and harassed my family as well. I filed a police report but they didn’t seem to care that, that happened to me.
My new friend, all we can do is live life one day and one step at a time. We cannot change the past and we cannot predict the future. If you are having problems with your registry location or the officer that comes to your door, I would suggest checking into some counties that are less A-Holes. (Sorry that is what some of them are) I did that very thing because when I lived in a county where cops came to my door 2 to 3 times a week at all hours of the day and night harassing me.