My Son’s Story

As I commit my son’s story to paper I cry, my heart breaks and I feel an overwhelming sadness I cannot shake. The thoughts of this situation continue to wake me from a dead sleep every night!

My son is bipolar and has been diagnosed as such since he was about 16. He had 3 suicide attempts in 30 days during that year. He was sent to a lock down facility as we did not know how to protect him from himself; when he was released pretty much with out notice from a psychiatric hospital in Ft Lauderdale. After each attempt he was Baker acted.

My son struggles with panic attacks, anxiety attacks and PTSD. He goes from being so depressed he cannot get out of bed sometimes for days and there are times he is so manic he cannot sleep for days. When he is manic he spins, his mind never stops racing. He needs to be constantly active. Sometimes he would play video games all night long; other times he would do physics research on his computer for hours or days. Sometimes he would research random things just out of curiosity.

He was 20 years old when this one evening in June he was in a manic phase and somehow wound up searching pornography and child pornography through Lime Wire an open source sharing site of some sort. All kinds of stuff downloaded, some of which he never viewed. It down loaded over several hours. He forgot it was there and never went back and viewed it. It was a one time episode. Days later the police barge into our home and dragged him out of bed from a dead sleep, he had been up most of the night before, I remember going in to tell him to go to sleep, he had classes that morning and it was about 4 AM…

Well they dragged his dad out of the shower and I was still in a night shirt when I answered the door at 6:45 AM… They took my son into my office closed the doors and got him to talk. He is a very honest, one of much integrity so as they questioned him, he thought he’d explain and it would be ok. He waived his rights because he did not fully understand what was going on and how much trouble he was facing. I did tell the Asst. States Attorney (who was present during the search) my son had mental issues and should not be answering questions without one of us present. The ASA later denied any knowledge.

Well as things unfolded we engaged an attorney who explained to him he did not stand a chance as they have his statement on tape, he would not do well with a Jury because they will not understand. He was convinced to plead guilty open to the courts. He was offered a plea deal from the States Attorney of 5 years prison and 5 years probation, but his attorney told him he will do better with the judge. So he followed his attorney’s advice. This dragged out over 15 months, my son was removed from college, had a hard time finding a job, and he had not even been convicted yet, his disorder became worse from the stress. His panic and anxiety attacks increased each time he had a court date approaching; it became unlivable for him. He would get ready the morning of a hearing or appearance after not sleeping due to anxiety and the Judge would cancel as she did not show for work that day and it would drag for another month or longer. He had no incidences with the law or any issues with his SOR the entire 15 months waiting.

He underwent a psychosexual exam, which showed no propensity for children and no pedophilia, nor and perversions towards children. He underwent a polygraph and passed no issue. We had documentation dating back for 6 + years where he has seen psychiatrists, therapists and nowhere was their anything that anyone had identified any perversions in his behavior, or thoughts. There were professionals that testified on his behalf, a presentencing report with documentation from his hospital stays, his facility placement for 17 months and letters from his current therapists, as well as the professionals who conducted all of the tests after the incident. He had letters from members of the community who know him well for years as support. Yet he was sentenced to 10 years in prison and 15 years probation. This is a young man with no past. He has never touched a child inappropriately. Even the probation officer’s report suggested he would do well in the community on a supervised release program. Yet the judge saw fit to sentence him to 10 years prison, 15 years probation. He was charged with 30 images; 2 of which they have held against his prison term and 28 against his probation. So should he violate his probation he goes back to prison for 28 x 5 years…140 years!

He sees his life as over. He is in a prison where he cannot get the help he needs. What gets him through his disease is the support of his family and now he has been removed from that environment. He made a mistake in judgment at a time he was not in control mentally due to an illness he did not chose to have and is paying with rest of his life. He did not enter chat rooms, never emailed the images to anyone, never tried to or ever touched any child; yet he is labeled forever. He has no chance to live his life and reach his potential. It is sad to me; had these laws been they in effect when our parents and grand parents were young adults and teenagers many, many of them would be sex offenders today. This is just one boys story.

Our laws are creating a criminal class where one does not exist… The Adam Walsh Act, Megan’s Law and the Jimmy Rice Act do not help our society. We spend billions of dollars on this legislation nationally every year and they do not work. We are incarcerating the wrong people. We all want our children to be safe but this is not the way to do it. It does not make them any safer… Research supports their needs to be a separation of the most dangerous form the others and rehabilitation is far better than incarceration.

It is time to use empirical data when creating legislation and not emotion.

Gail – Mother of a young man unjustly sentenced to a life without hope and a label…